Couples Therapy
You love each other, but you're tired of having the same conversations go nowhere. There are things you'd like to talk about, concerns you've been holding in, and parts of your relationship that you wish felt different. Bringing them up can feel like more trouble than it's worth, especially when you're worried the conversation will turn into an argument.
So you stick to what's easier to discuss. The schedules, the errands, the responsibilities, and everything that needs to get done. You keep life moving, but the conversations about how you're actually doing as a couple become less frequent. Even though you're sharing a life, you can start to feel disconnected from each other.
Ashley works with couples who feel frustrated with where their relationship is and want to talk about what's happening without getting caught in the same arguments. Therapy offers a place to slow things down, figure out why these conversations keep going off track, and work toward a relationship where both partners can speak more openly about what they need.
Schedule A Free 15-Minute Consultation
When It's Easier To Avoid The Conversation
You know there are things you need to talk about, but you already have an idea of how the conversation might go. One of you brings up a concern, the other feels criticized, and before long you're arguing about how something was said rather than what needed to be discussed. You leave the conversation frustrated, wondering how you ended up arguing again when all you wanted was to talk about something that mattered to you.
After enough of these interactions, avoiding the subject can feel easier than bringing it up. You tell yourself it's not worth another disagreement or that you'll find a better time to talk. The concern stays with you, and frustration can build even when neither of you wants another fight.
You can both want the relationship to work and still struggle to talk about feeling unsupported, wanting more time together, or needing something to change. Knowing what you want to say is one thing. Being able to say it without the conversation turning into an argument is another.
When Your Relationship Starts To Feel Like A List Of Responsibilities
Between work, family, household responsibilities, and everything else that needs attention, it's easy for a relationship to become focused on keeping daily life running. You talk about schedules, errands, and what needs to get done this week. Those conversations matter, but they don't always leave room to talk about how you're actually feeling.
Maybe you realize you haven't asked each other how you've been doing beyond the usual “How was your day?” You miss the conversations you used to have, or spending time together no longer feels as connecting as it once did. You're sharing a life, but it can feel like you're managing it side by side rather than experiencing it together.
The relationship can start to feel more like a partnership for getting things done than a place where you feel close. You aren't necessarily arguing all the time. You just miss feeling like a couple who makes time for each other, talks about what's going on, and can bring up concerns without worrying about what will happen next.
What Therapy With Ashley Can Actually Look Like
Ashley draws from Level 2 Gottman training, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and attachment-focused work. These approaches inform how she helps couples explore recurring disagreements, emotional reactions, and the ways partners respond to each other when a conversation gets difficult.
In sessions, you can slow down a recent disagreement and look at what happened for each of you. What were you trying to say? What did your partner hear? When did the conversation start to go off track? Looking at a real interaction can help you see why a discussion about one issue turns into a much bigger argument, even when neither person intended for it to go that way.
Ashley also helps couples explore how earlier relationship experiences can shape the way they handle conflict, express emotions, or ask for support today. The ways you learned to deal with disagreements or respond when someone was upset can influence what feels comfortable in your current relationship. Recognizing those habits can open up different ways of responding to each other.
The work focuses on the concerns that brought you to therapy and what you'd like to change. That could mean raising concerns more directly, working through disagreements without getting stuck in blame, or making more room for conversations that go beyond the responsibilities of daily life.
Why Work With Ashley?
Ashley is the founder of Cardinal Hope Mental Health Counseling Services and serves as President-Elect of the American Counseling Association's North Atlantic Region. She is also the past president of the American Counseling Association of New York.
Her professional leadership complements her couples-focused work, which draws from Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and attachment-focused approaches. She looks at how partners interact during conflict, what each person is trying to communicate, and why it can be difficult to get a point across without the conversation becoming defensive or shutting down.
Ashley has also facilitated couples retreats focused on emotional safety in communication and conflict resolution. Her workshop experience includes supporting loved ones with anxiety and depression, as well as professional education through ACA of New York on topics such as the mental health licensure process and supervision in private practice.
Ashley holds the credentials LMHC-D, NCC, and LPC and offers virtual couples therapy to clients in New York and New Jersey.
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens in couples therapy?
Couples therapy gives you time to talk about what's happening in your relationship with support from a therapist. You can discuss recurring arguments, bring up concerns that have been difficult to talk about at home, and look at how each of you responds when conversations get tense. Sessions focus on the issues affecting your relationship and the changes you want to make.
What if my partner doesn't want to go to couples therapy?
It can be difficult when one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other feels unsure about therapy. Start by talking about what each of you hopes could change and what concerns you have about getting help. A consultation with Cardinal Hope's administrator, Laura, is an opportunity to ask questions about the process and explore whether the practice is a good fit.
Will the therapist take sides?
Couples therapy isn't about deciding which partner is right in every disagreement. Ashley works to hear each person's perspective and explore how you interact, while helping you address the concerns affecting your relationship.
Can we do couples therapy online?
Yes. Ashley offers virtual couples therapy to clients in New York and New Jersey. Cardinal Hope offers a free 15-minute consultation with Laura, the practice administrator, so you can discuss what you're looking for and whether the practice is a good fit.
Let's Talk About What's Happening In Your Relationship
You're tired of going in circles, avoiding conversations that matter, or feeling like your relationship has become all about getting through the day. If you're ready to talk about what's happening between you and work on a different way of relating to each other, couples therapy can be a place to start.
Cardinal Hope Mental Health Counseling Services offers a free 15-minute consultation with Laura, the practice administrator. You can talk about what you're looking for, ask questions about getting started, and explore whether the practice feels like the right fit.