Therapy for Women in Midlife Who Spent Years Taking Care of Everyone Else
Virtual Therapy for Adults in New York
LMHC, Clinical Supervisor
There’s a moment a lot of women describe that doesn’t really have a name, but they know it when it shows up.
You’re sitting in the car after drop-off and there’s no rush to be anywhere next. Instead of feeling relaxed, your mind starts going, “Okay… what am I supposed to be doing right now?”
Or you’re standing in the kitchen after everything is finally done and your first thought is not “I can rest,” it’s “I probably forgot something.” So you pick up your phone, start scrolling, start cleaning again, or just keep moving because stopping feels strange.
Or it’s late at night and you’re tired, but your brain is still running through the day like: “I should’ve said that differently.”“Did I come off wrong?”“Did I handle that right?”“What do I need to fix tomorrow?”
What Brings Someone Into Therapy at This Stage
Most people don’t come in because of one moment. It builds.
- You notice you’re getting irritated over small things that normally wouldn’t bother you.
- You’re exhausted even on days that “weren’t that bad.”
- You agree to things and immediately feel that tight stomach feeling afterward.
- You’re constantly thinking through what other people need from you next.
- You go to respond to a text and somehow spend 20 minutes overthinking how to say it.
- You feel like you’re moving through your life, but not really in it.
And THEN at some point it hits: “I can’t keep doing this the same way.”
How We Work Together
Therapy with me is very real-life focused. (is there any other way to be? lets be honest here).
We look at the exact moments your day starts to slip away from you. Moments like when you’re about to say no but end up saying yes anyway. Or when you feel that guilt hit and immediately change your decision. Or when something happens and your brain won’t let it go for hours afterward.
We slow those moments down so you can actually see what’s happening instead of only realizing it later when you’re already overwhelmed.
A lot of work is helping you recognize that “tight feeling” that shows up when you’re about to do something differently… like setting a boundary, resting, or not immediately fixing something for someone else.
We also work on the thoughts that keep looping, especially the ones that sound like: “I shouldn’t feel this way.” “I should be handling this better.” “I can’t mess this up.”
If trauma is part of your history, we don’t rush into anything. We start with helping you feel more steady in your body and your thoughts day to day so things don’t feel like they take over so quickly.
My approach includes trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy, attachment focused work, cognitive coping tools, psychoeducation, and strengths based support. What does this all mean? it means, learning why your brain reacts the way it does, and what to do in the exact moment it starts running away with you.
Why Tessa Is a Strong Fit for This Work
Most women I work with are the ones everyone relies on. They’re the responsible one. The steady one. The one who handles things.
So when they come to therapy, it’s not about “learning what boundaries are.” (If only that easy!) It’s about what happens in the moment you try to set one and immediately feel guilty and start second guessing yourself.
That’s where we do the work!
I help you catch what’s happening in real time, not after the fact. We focus on noticing the guilt right when it shows up. Or catching the overexplaining before it takes over. Or realizing you’re about to take responsibility for something that is not yours to take on.
We focus less on talking about change and more on practicing it in the exact moments where your old way of doing things kicks in. There’s space for honesty here. You don’t have to overthink how you say things or present yourself a certain way.
Over time, what shifts most is how much mental space you get back. Less overthinking. Less emotional overload. More room to actually think about your own life. Doesn't this sound like a dream?
Professional Background
I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York and a Clinical Supervisor with training in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT).
I hold a Master’s in Mental Health Counseling, an Advanced Certificate in Interdisciplinary Trauma Studies from SUNY Oswego, and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from SUNY Plattsburgh.
I work with adults navigating long-standing trauma patterns, anxiety, identity shifts, and relational challenges across different stages of life.