Stress, Trauma, and the Holidays: Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn Responses
The holiday season is supposed to be joyful but for many of us, it can also stir up old patterns, anxiety, and even trauma responses we didn’t realize were still active.
Maybe you find yourself snapping at family, avoiding gatherings, shutting down emotionally, or bending over backward to keep the peace. These reactions often come from the body’s natural trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Understanding these responses is the first step in feeling more in control and enjoying the season on your terms.
Fight: When Your Body Says "I Need to Protect Myself"
Have you ever felt a sudden surge of anger or defensiveness, like you need to protect yourself during a tense conversation? That’s the fight response kicking in. People who grew up with chaotic or unsafe environments often carry a low tolerance for perceived threats. In adulthood, this can show up as arguing over small things, overreacting to criticism, or feeling triggered in relationships. Recognizing when you’re in fight mode helps you pause, reflect, and respond instead of react especially when holiday stress is high.
Flight: Avoidance as a Survival Strategy
The flight response is all about escape. Maybe you’re skipping events, zoning out during family drama, or mentally planning a getaway while everyone else is talking. Flight can feel protective, but it can also leave you feeling disconnected and isolated. Understanding this pattern allows you to make conscious choices about when to step back, and when it’s safe to engage so you don’t miss out on connection while still protecting your emotional well-being.
Freeze: Feeling Stuck When You Can’t Move
Sometimes the body just shuts down. You might feel numb, overwhelmed, or unable to respond in stressful situations. Freeze responses often show up during conflict or emotional overload, leaving you feeling like you can’t speak up or make decisions. During the holidays, this can look like staying silent at the dinner table or avoiding difficult conversations altogether. Naming the freeze response is powerful it allows you to gently practice moving through discomfort rather than being stuck in it.
Fawn: People-Pleasing and Over-Accommodation
The fawn response is all about keeping peace by prioritizing others’ needs above your own. You might find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no, smoothing over conflict, or overextending yourself to avoid rejection. Fawn responses are especially common in people who grew up in homes where emotional needs weren’t consistently met. Recognizing fawn patterns can help you practice healthy boundaries, assert your needs, and still show care without losing yourself.
Healing and Finding Calm This Season
The holidays can be a tricky time for anyone with trauma history, but understanding your fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses is a game-changer. At Cardinal Hope Mental Health Counseling Services, we help adults recognize these patterns, process past trauma, and build practical tools to respond instead of react.
Virtual sessions are available across New York, providing a safe space to explore your triggers, practice self-care, and enjoy the holiday season with more peace and confidence.
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