“You’re Too Sensitive”: The Hidden Wounds of Emotional Invalidation
You were told to “toughen up.” To “stop crying.” Maybe your feelings were dismissed with a “You’re overreacting” or ignored entirely. You might not have called it trauma back then. But now, as an adult, something still doesn’t feel right.
You second-guess your emotions. Apologize for taking up space. Struggle to name what you feel or believe it’s okay to feel anything at all. If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I always feel like my emotions are wrong?” this might be the root of it.
Emotional invalidation is trauma. Just because it wasn’t loud or violent doesn’t mean it didn’t change you.
What Is Emotional Invalidation?
Emotional invalidation happens when your inner world your feelings, needs, and experiences are consistently ignored, minimized, or punished.
You may have grown up hearing things like:
“You’re being dramatic.”
“That’s nothing to cry about.”
“You always make things about you.”
Over time, this chips away at your self-trust. You learn that your emotions are too much, that your needs are burdens, and that safety means staying small, quiet, or “easy to love.”
How It Shows Up in Adulthood
At Cardinal Hope Mental Health Counseling, many clients come to us saying:
“I don’t know how to express myself without feeling guilty.”
“I go numb when things get hard — it’s like I disconnect from everything.”
“I always put other people’s needs first, and I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
This is the long shadow of emotional invalidation.
It can affect:
Your relationships – Feeling like you have to manage others’ emotions while ignoring your own.
Your identity – Not knowing who you are outside of being the “peacekeeper” or “helper.”
Your nervous system – Feeling constantly on edge, or shutting down entirely when emotions rise.
Why Naming It Matters
You don’t need to justify your pain with dramatic stories. The quiet, subtle ways you were dismissed matter. And healing starts with giving yourself the validation you never received.
Therapy can help you do exactly that.
At Cardinal, we work with adults who grew up feeling emotionally unseen especially those who carry childhood trauma that’s still shaping their adult relationships, boundaries, and self-worth. We combine trauma-informed care with somatic techniques, helping you feel safe not just to talk about your feelings but to actually feel them without fear.
Through this work, clients begin to:
Identify emotional patterns with clarity instead of shame
Learn what safety feels like in their bodies and relationships
Reconnect with their needs and learn how to honor them
You’re Not “Too Much.” You Were Just Told That for Too Long.
Healing isn’t about blaming the past it’s about freeing yourself from the patterns it created.
If you're tired of shrinking yourself to make others comfortable… if you're ready to be heard, supported, and understood without judgment… this is your sign to take that next step.
Our therapist Tessa is currently accepting new clients schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about how therapy can help you reclaim your voice.
Resources:
Linehan, M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual. Guilford Press.
National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (2025). Understanding Complex Trauma in Childhood.
Mental Health America. (2024). Emotional Abuse and Neglect.
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.